My Achilles Heel

An "Achilles’ heel" is a person's fatal weakness in spite of their overall strength that eventually causes their downfall.

Apparently my ACHILLES HEEL is Shailey's Heelys. I fell while on a run in Tokyo just before Christmas and landed on my shoulder. When we got to the states, my shoulder was still in "healing" mode. Shailey and I went to the mall to buy HEELYS for her birthday. I insisted she wear them while we shopped. She fell several times, each time taking my arm with her. That was a big mistake. By that evening I was in the worst pain of my life. Later, an MRI proved what we suspected: I tore my rotator cuff.

This is by far the most painful and horrible experience of my life. This statement is coming from a person who has caught on fire and burned her knuckles to the bone; a torn rotator cuff is WORSE. This same person also accidentally birthed her son on the entry way floor, without pain killers and doctors; and still a torn rotator cuff is WORSE. Tearing my rotator cuff caused me constant excruciating pain that radiated throughout my entire body, not just my shoulder. I could not lay down in a bed, I could not sit in a soft chair, nor could I sit in a hard chair for more than a few minutes, and standing hurt too. I quickly figured out that the only position that I could remain in for any length of time was at a 45 degree angle in a recliner chair. So Glenn and my brother-in-law, Greg, brought the recliner downstairs (the same chair I have tried to get rid of for a few years and Glenn insisted we keep... boy was I singing his praises that we kept the chair, it was my saving grace).

THE MRI

I have a gripe here. What is the dealio with modern technology and the MRI? I could not lay down because the "flat" position pulled my shoulder too much and caused me intense excruciating pain, so when the MRI technician told me I would have to lay on a hard, flat surface without flinching for 30 minutes, I cried. I had NO idea that MRIs took this long. I anticipated it would take approximately 30 seconds, NOT 30 MINUTES. I also have claustrophobia, so being in a tube where the tip of my nose almost brushes the top of the tube is pain enough mentally.

The technician told me I could listen to music to keep my mind off of the pain and off of my claustrophobia. I told him I preferred my husband read to me. He allowed Glenn in the room to read, but as soon as he started reading, we heard a very loud THUMP THUMP THUMP. What was that?! Glenn continued reading until we heard another loud THUMP THUMP, pause pause pause, THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP, pause, THUMP THUMP, sound. I hollered. The technician came back in. He apologized for the incredibly loud noise and suggested I listen to music instead... not that it mattered... who can hear anything over a loud THUMP THUMP THUMP noise. I decided, this is what it would be like to be a mouse living on the inside of a heavy metal drum set.

I laid there feeling incredibly angry and frustrated with technology. I cannot believe that we are living in the 21st century and no one has figured out how to A) make this a MUCH SHORTER experience and B) get rid of the THUMP THUMP noise! Seriously people. From Tokyo, I can talk to my family in California for free, face to face through a live feed on the computer, and yet we have this archaic and completely barbaric MRI procedure. Something is seriously wrong with this picture. I think our tax dollars are going into the wrong bucket. (I hear the same can be said about Mammograms, but I have yet to experience that).

Anyhow, during the MRI my pain was absolutely awful, the thump noise was pounding my brain out, and in the close quarters I started to have a panic attack. I decided to pray and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me get though this experience. I knew I could not do it alone. All at once, a beautiful and peaceful calming sensation covered me like a warm blanket. I actually started to feel cozy in the tube. I still heard the THUMP sound, but it sounded more distant. I truly felt the power of God helping to take my mind to another place and relax me to where I could hardly feel my pain.

As soon as the MRI was over my pain came back in a rush, but I did not complain. I was so overwhelmingly grateful that Heavenly Father took my pain away enough to get me through the MRI.

The good news? I made it through the MRI.

The bad news? I had a "high tear" in my rotator cuff that would require the careful watch of a surgeon for 7 weeks to decide if surgery was necessary.

I thought I was unstoppable.... go go go Tracey; Heelys were my Achilles Heel.